(♫ Bond music ♪)

Which lass can see you, but cannot be seen…?
Her eyes are golden!
Offers salvation…? Gives Buddha advice…?
She’s so determined!

Owns half of Ireland…? Made love to a nun…?
This two-ton lady will not be outdone!
Guess who? The regal one!

Oprah!
(Oprah!) When this pure, slim machine…
Oprah!
(Oprah!) First arrived on the scene…
Audiences praised her and made her their god and leader.

Oprah!
(Oprah!) She sets hostages free!
Oprah!
(Oprah!) She can live without sin!
Found Daniel Craig, made them cast him as Bond.
Movie star? Yes, thanks to her!

(♫ Bond music ♪)

Then at the height of Obama’s campaign—
The race was getting tight…
She told him the secret to beat John McCain:
“Tell them your mom is white!”

Here is the lesson, I want to impart:
Worship this woman like music or art.
Or else... she’ll eat your heart.

Oprah!
(Oprah!) Owns Napoleon’s brain!
Oprah!
(Oprah!) Chased the snakes off the plane!
Audiences bathe her and then they line up to feed her.

Oprah!
(Oprah!) She makes rugs out of bears!
Oprah!
(Oprah!) Is amazingly thin!
Found Henry Ford, showed him how to make cars.
Auto czar? Yes, thanks to her!

(♫ Bond music ♪)

Oprah!
(Oprah!) Owns a chocolate TV!
Oprah!
(Oprah!) Called Chuck Norris a queen!
Found Jesus Christ, showed His books on her show.
Savior? Yes, thanks to her!
(Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!)