She stumbles onto a small stage
She looks like G:Son
While we try to guess her age
We hear her saying

Heeeey, look at my Britney move
Heeeey, look at my Britney groove

She breaks a heel
Seize fourty eight
It's no surprise
It has to carry so much weight

Silly sad old dragqueen
Getting drunk on cheap and stale champagne
Trying to look sixteen
Bitch is stealing my make-up again

What is that small bulge under her skirt?
Did she forget to tuck away?
If she's not careful her Dame Edna
Will be there on display
Her wig on backwards and a hint of five o'clock shadow
Mascara running down her face she looks just like a scarecrow

Silly sad old dragqueen
Getting drunk on cheap and stale champagne
Trying to look sixteen
(RuPaul to the rescue)
Bitch is stealing my make-up again

A da da lada dadada

Oohoohooo

La la la la

She gets ready for the end
Will she do the split?
She performs an awkward bend
Her pantyhose rip

Heeeey no chance in hell you'll stay
Please sashay away

Silly sad old dragqueen
Getting drunk on cheap and stale champagne
Trying to look sixteen
(RuPaul to the rescue)
Bitch is stealing my make-up again