I browsed the supermarket
When I saw her down the aisle
Oh, my husband’s cousin Mary
Munching pickled apple pie!

She looked as though her waistline had expanded quite a bit
I crossed the fruit section
To ask her the question
That was bugging my mind:

Are you pregnant or not?
That’s quite a belly you’ve got!
I hope you don’t mind that I’m asking
Is it boy, is it girl?
Or did you eat too much curd?
It seems like you got yourself knocked up

A bump is showing
Your hips are growing
Go on and tell me the truth now
So are you pregnant or not?
Is there a bun in the oven?
I just want to find out

She ran off in horror
Without giving a reply
But the gossip’s over town
I think the start of it was I!

Still I must know, did Atkins fail or is she up the duff?
I dialed her number
Disturbing her supper
I just had to find out!

Are you pregnant or not?
Cause you have grown quite a lot!
I hope you don’t mind that I’m asking
Is it boy, is it girl?
Or did you swallow a churn?
You might need to lay off the pasta!

Your seams are creaking
The more you’re eating
But are you eating for two now?
So are you pregnant or not?
Is there a stork in your garden?
There’s no reason to lie

Are Weight Watchers striking?
Or is it bad lighting?
You look just like a seal (look just like a seal)
There’s one quick solution
To find out the truth, you test your pee!

Just test your pee!

Are you pregnant or not?
That’s quite a belly you’ve got!
Or maybe it’s just too much custard
Is it boy, is it girl?
Or did you eat your chauffeur?
Your weight could deflate Madagascar!

The ground is quaking
Your back is aching
You’ll soon have your own equator!
So are you pregnant or not?
Is there a bun in your oven?
I just want to find out!