My life in Monaco:
That was so long ago
A yacht in Monte Carlo
Drinks with Jean Harlow

I get dressed in my flat:
Red apron and white hat
Off to work in Skegness
Every day seems endless

The Ice Cream lady, the Ice Cream lady
The Ice Cream lady, I drive my truck
At speeds of under twenty
It's chiming out a wistful medley
Of songs that Distel once crooned at me
At Jackie O's soirees

I only wore Givenchy
Sipped Long Island Iced Teas
I romanced the young Tsar
Now I cruise in dive bars

The Ice Cream lady, the Ice Cream lady
The Ice Cream lady, I live alone:
My wealthy husband Raymond
He ran off with a dried fruit salesman
I cry when eating Rum'n'Raisin:
A bittersweet poison

Kids are wary:
They don't like that my hands are hairy
There's rats in my supplier's dairy
I'm groped by drunk Jerry

My chest jiggles
(The Ice Cream lady)
As Jerry gently tweaks my nipples
(The Ice Cream lady)
I let him scoop my Cherry Ripple
My life seems so cheerful :-)