Haiku schlager, an unearthly breed
This chimera makes your ears bleed
Haiku schlager is no piece of art
Platitude, ineptitude - champagne and fart

Life is like a climb
Up Mount Fuji in a storm
In the end: you fall

That's our first haiku off the shelf

Follow-up:

A bleeding moonlight
Cherry blossoms in the dust
Accusatory

What a shambles!
Did you follow? Need some help?

Haiku schlager, the fourth wall awry
Rotten line breaks? Syllables match!
Haiku schlager, not in short supply
Two for one, half the price, there is no catch

Listen:

What if cows were green?
Would we lose them in the field?
How would we get milk?

Now, that's organic food for thought!

Can you smell a stench of Gouda?
Yes, this schlager has an odour
Everything it touches will be cheese

Haiku schlager can't be falsified
Nor dissected... Swallow it whole!
Haiku schlager can't be cast aside
It's in you deep inside eating your soul

(Haiku shoutfest) Gotta make it louder
(Oh no, more volume) Yell it like you mean it, babe
(Death is painless) I'm exhausted
(You should try it) Is it over yet?
Haiku schlager gets unorthodox
Out of space, so let's make one last try:

Close to perfect
Barely short of seventeen
Statutory rape

Call the cops, taste police!