After the hugely successful Alternative Lyrics Contest of 2004, it is now time for the Contest of 2005 to begin!

As always in Eurovision, the contest opens with our reigning Champ performing a special version of the winning song!

So now I hand over to your host, Frank with.......

At The Tesco in Kiev – (ALC Eat all you want remix)

Forced diet, afraid of losing more weight,
I have to go and shop today,
I´ve got to find some food today,
where´s the Tesco,
where´s the Tesco.

They call me, a date! There´s a party at 8,
A chance to wine and dine all night,
But once again no food that night,
where´s the Tesco,
there´s no Tesco.

Chocolate, is what I want
Breakfast, is what I need
cheese cake, cream and pie
up and down the aisles I fly

Icecream, is what I want
Wafers, is what I need
Fruit Tortes, Toilet Rolls
up and down, here we go!

I´m dying, too late! I´ve lost too much weight,
I toss and turn and moan all night
my stomache hurts again tonight
here in Kiev
there´s no Tesco

Chocolate, is what I want
Breakfast, is what I need
cheese cake, cream and pie
up and down the aisles I fly

Icecream, is what I want
Wafers, is what I need
Fruit Tortes, Toilet Rolls
up and down, here we go!