Old, old, I’m really old
My teeth are gone, my mouth is just wrong
Old, Old, I’m really old
My legs are numb, and so is my bum

Old, old, my wife is old
Not only old, but almost like mould
Old, old, the sex is gone
Not so much gone as mostly withdrawn

How I long, how I long for youth
Happy days, now I long for my death

Old, old, I’m really old
I have to pee, it feels like debris
Old, old, I’m really old
My belly’s blogged, the pipes are all clogged

Old, old, my dog is old
It is so old, its fur has gone cold
Old, old, my cat is old
Ancient’s the word, it’s really absurd

How I long, how I long for youth
Past my prime, here comes checkout time

Old, old, my kids are old
One is quite vile, the other senile
Old, old, their kids are old
One’s a slag bag, the other’s a drag

Old, old, the world is old
And someday soon, we’ll all look like prunes
Old, old, this song is old
Let me end now, and leave with a bow

I’m really old, or so I’ve been told