There's a giant mole it's on my face and
It's an animal with hair and rugged edge
This mole it has a postal code
It's parked just by my chin
I've come to hate this giant mole on me

See, my giant mole is quite a hindrance
It needs an extra brolly when it rains
Passing all the rotten kids
It hurts when they say "lady
Can we rent that thing for parties or a fair?"

And my giant mole is so misshapen
When passing by you'll think I have a date
My mole it's like a pregnant toad
With arms and little legs
My mum won't meet my giant mole and me

Some may say my mole is kind of brazen
 We see a pest, lets say a giant bug
And zap! it hit the arachnid
It crushed it with the paper  
And giant mole just showed that it's in charge

Now my giant mole it likes the neighbour
When passing by it grins and says g'day   
My mole it's kind of bashful so
It asked me to suggest
That she go meet my giant mole and me

When there's tension me and giant mole will
Ignore and then be quiet for the day  
And then it breaks the atmosphere
By bringing out the chess kit
And thus the mole and me are on the mend

And my giant mole is kind of clever
When flying to Berlin with Ryanair
My mole will block the exit row
So I can stretch my legs
Then fold itself into the overhead

Guess my giant mole is not so hated
I'll go so far to say we're kind of friends
My mole will buy a big red rose
And place it on the bed
Thus goes my tale of giant mole and me

Thus goes my tale of giant mole and me
Thus goes my tale of giant mole and. Me!