In Paradise pets are banned
They have no souls so they’re all damned
But do not fret, for a small charge
We genies can sneak in whole barns

There’s a giraffe in my pants
And my tights are filled with red ants
Though Allah says pigs are haram
I’m hiding one under each arm

I wear live snakes as if they’re scarves
To get them past angel armed guards
I’ve smuggled whole zoos right past Allah
Even lions stuffed down peignoirs

I was afraid the jig was up
When my headscarf, an alpaca
Left a pile of poo on Allah’s rug
So I lied and blamed Muhammad

I stash hamsters inside my cheeks
And elephants ‘twixt my front teeth
I smuggle frogs inside my bra
When my chest leaps I blame my heart

If you want pets when you depart
I’ll bubble wrap and ship whole farms
Just fill my lamp with your dirhams
And your wish will be my command

A bubble wrapped bee hidden in Samira’s bonnet quietly hums along with the music

(Bzz, bzz bzz bzz bzz)
(Bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz bzz)
(Bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz bzz)
(Bzz bzz bzz bzz, bzz bzz bzz bzz)

Shifty-eyed Samira enters the heavenly security area trying to sing nonchalantly over the hyenas in her handbag

(Ha, hahahaha) La, lalalala
(Haha, hahahaha) Lala, lalalala
(Haha, hahahaha) Lala, lalalala
(Hahahaha, hahahaha) Lalalala, lalalala

Samira’s afro, a sheep, joins in the cacophony, forcing her to sing even louder

(Baa, baa baa baa baa) LA, LALALALA
(Baa baa, baa baa baa baa) LALA, LALALALA
(Baa baa, baa baa baa baa) LALA, LALALALA
(Baa baa baa baa, baa baa baa baa) LALALALA, LALALALA