Need a new shed made
For my backyard

Lawnmower doesn't have a home (none of my tools have got a home)
Weedkiller's got no place to go (neither has my Miracle Gro)
Nowhere to sit and plant my seeds (can't fight my way through last year's weeds)
The floor and the walls are rotting
I think a fox has got in

Walk in, the floor starts creaking
Felt on the roof is leaking
Need a new shed made
For my backyard (my garden)
Door hinge is barely holding
The fungi are evolving
Need a new shed made
For my backyard

Called an exterminator in (to decontaminate the bins)
Really, that's where my woes begin (just don't know what I was thinking)
He tapped, scratched and sniffed at the shed (thought for a bit, and scratched his head)
Lit a cig, exhaled, then said
"I think your problem's undead"

Vampiric infestation?
That's blatant exaggeration
There's nothing undead, mate
In my backyard! (My garden!)
Don't tell me that I ought to
Pay you for holy water
I trowelled him dead there
In my backyard
(On the patio)

Digging my veggie patch in
I suddenly heard a scratching
Thirteen zombie heads there
In my backyard
So basically, why I called you
I saw your ad on Google...
I need a new shed made
For my backyard