I'd had enough of my job selling ice cream down at the pier
So I decided to think about a total change in career
Then I watched Arne Dahl, Wallander and then The Fall
A detective's life seemed so exciting, so I had an idea

First off, I needed preparation to adjust to the role
I bought a hat and a microscope, and read about Sherlock Holmes
Pullover like Sarah Lund's, bought across the Öresund
And I handed in my application form to Skåne Police

But I was left shocked and dejected
"Sorry, but this time you've not been selected,
Can't run or swim, or really see..."
Just a small setback, won't stop me

Maybe it was a sign that I'd be better working alone
And as a private investigator, I'd be wealthy and known

I waited round for days, no one would ring
I almost gave it all up until one most momentous evening...

Late in the night, a stranger called, he'd just been stabbed in the spleen
This was the chance to prove myself; I hurried down to the scene

Sadly, I'd come too late to save him
Worse still, police coming out of the station
Watched as the man died next to me
And they came and arrested me

Now I am serving life in jail, they say I'll never be free
All of this happened just 'cause I was bored of selling ice cream

Really, I swear
Life's so unfair