Based on Norway 2016

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My reptile
Shell brown and green, a creature so divine
Testudine
Bartholomew, he is my tortoise

But his appetite
Has lately suffered from a steep decline
Lettuce he declines
It seems he has a strange affliction

Fearing for my tortoise and his loss of weight
Finding there is blood when he urinates
Maybe time I take a sick day…. today

Head for the pet doctor
As this is no laughing matter
(Got to) find an answer

I take care
Wrap him up in cotton wadding
(In a) dark container

Though I must wait
A goat with haemorrhoids is first today
I must be patient
To find the cause of his condition

Finally I hear the vet say
(“Miss Agnete”) My name

He calls us to enter
And we go into his office
(and then) after one look
With a smile
Diagnoses constipation

The vet then puts his hand in mine
And tells me “Do not fret, he’ll soon be fine
With just one simple thing we’ll save his life”

“Vibrator….
One attached under his tummy
(this will) ease the blockage”
I obliged
And affixed my own ‘pet’ rabbit
(to his belly)

Aaaand…
He got better