Based on Rock Me, Yugoslavia 1989

I took a girl out Sunday night, just for some supper
When we were done she asked if I “fancied a cuppa”
We walked together back to her place
Kissed her tenderly on her face
But our relations went downhill from there, whoah oh oh oh

Cockney Lady
I would never want to mock a Lady
but her accent was a shock, m’lady
How my ears were blown away, oh oh oh oh
Cockney Lady, “do you play Joanna?”
Cockney Lady, think she means “piano”
Cockney Lady – it was painful, I must say

At first I thought that I could find a simple solution
Perhaps a course where she could learn posh elocution
But no amount of educating
Could help her with enunciating:
“The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain”
No-oh-oh-oh!

Cockney Lady, “ain’t it Mork & Mindy?”
Cockney Lady, she just means it’s windy
Cockney Lady, so offensive to my ears, oh oh oh oh
Cockney Lady, wants a “Ruby Murray”
Cockney Lady, that’s the word for curry..?
Cockney Lady, and a cup of “Rosy Lee”, oh oh oh oh

Cockney Lady, “rub my plates of meat!”
Cockney Lady, god, does she mean “feet”?
Cockney Lady, think I’m giving that a miss

(Cockney Lady, whoah oh oh oh)

Cockney Lady, one last “butchers hook” at
Cockney Lady, (one last look, I mean at)
Cockney Lady, this is surely for the best
And I’m leaving, I confess
I can’t understand a dicky bird she…says!