Based on Spain 1974

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Had tequila, woke this morning in my car
Had tequila, that’s not all
And there was an open bar, here’s what I recall:

I have to say I was dreading attending my colleague’s wedding
He lives just outside of Reading (drove there in my car)
I ordered a Coca Cola
The bar lady brought it over
I asked her how much I owed her (No need – open bar!)

For those who don’t know the meaning, the concept is quite appealing
Means free drinks throughout the evening (that’s an open bar)
The Coke didn’t last too long so I went on to something stronger
And that’s when it all went wrong, oh (all free at the bar)
(It’s an open bar, it’s an open bar, yes an open bar!)

Cointreau, pint of beer, then Prosecco, gin and Malibu
Jägermeister, Blossom Hill
Pinot Grigio, white and noir, still not feeling ill
Champagne flowed freely, or might have been cava
Slammed tequilas one, two, three
Thought I’d make the most of it since the drinks were free

The alcohol made me randy
The bar lady’s name was Mandy
I asked her for one more brandy (still free at the bar)

I felt I could take a risk so I leaned in and tried to kiss her
She screamed “just get off, you’re pissed sir!” (yes, I blame the bar)
(Blame the open bar, blame the open bar, blame the open bar)

Faux pas, bad idea, so no more service at the bar
And I need a few more drinks
I could get them secretly…
How a drunk man thinks!
A quick distraction – I threw up on the floor
Mandy ran round from the bar
While she mopped I found the store, snuck in with her keys

(Haha) It’s where they keep the beer!
(Haha) More tequila, sí!
(Haha) It’s my own secret bar
(Haha) And it’s still for free

Intoxicated, I found an open jar
Something strong for stripping paint
After that it’s all a haze, I was really pissed

(Too far) Who is this guy in uniform?
(Too far) I can see he’s quite severe
Standing right outside my car, looking most displeased

Mandy rang the police
Think I breached the peace
At the open bar!