While once making love I moaned and whispered all too clearly
The name of my first true beau – my girlfriend very nearly
Ran away – “You’re gay!!” I thought that she had known
From our first night that I was bi… I’d best atone

Well, I’m bi, bi, bi, not straight, no, no, no
Please don’t cry, cry, cry, that was years ago
Which is why, why, why, if we should be betrothed
I shall lie, lie, lie, so your folks don’t know

But rather predictably it caused a huge commotion
To get far away from me she sailed across the ocean
But that night – delight! I met a man called John
When things went well I confessed lest it all go wrong

Well, I’m bi, bi, bi, not gay, no, no, no
Can’t deny, -ny, -ny women float my boat
But oh my, my, my, you had me at hello
So I’ll try, try, try not to let you go

Though he was a likely lad who couldn’t have been keener
He most definitely had a gentleman’s demeanour
But since queer, for fear, the thoughts he entertained!
That I’d be botted by him! But I soon explained

Yes, I’m bi, bi, bi, not gay, no, no, no
And I don’t subscribe to your ‘quid pro quo’
I’ll deci-, -i-, -ide what happens down below
Please abide, -bide, -bide by the status quo

And when thus deprived he found the end of his short tether
Poor John never stuck around – but back came girlfriend Heather!
Debonair, aware, and mightily impressed
That up the wrong’un could be fun… who would have guessed?

She’s not bi, bi, bi but she knows, knows, knows
That a guy, guy, guy needn’t quote-unquote
“Justify, -y, -y oh where his seeds are sown”
Since that nigh-, -igh-, -ight how our love has grown

Yes he’s bi, bi, bi and she knows, knows, knows
So she’ll try, try, try anything unknown

Woe beti-, -i-, -ide me should I let her go
Her goodbye, -ye, -ye was a crushing blow

Yes he’s bi, bi, bi!