This is my love story, in love with a tree
I just cannot help it, this love’s legit
I worship his glory, in love with a tree
His branches swaying, tickling my clit

His twigs and sprigs make me horny
Even though they’re thorny
I rub against his huge round trunk
He is my big wooden hunk

Unexpectedly I fell in love with a tree
He’s strong and strapping, oh what a catch
Perfectly logical to flirt with a tree
Carries me home and unlocks my latch

His leaves caress and excite me
Oozing sap delights me
Dendrological arousal
It’s a forestry espousal

Hallelujah!

Lifting me up high he’s my powerful tree
High in the forest, sha la la lee
I reckon it’s obvi, I’m in love with a tree
Could be the magic mushrooms that I eat

He’s not a willow who’s floppy
When he’s there on top me
He’s a mighty tall, great oak
When he’s throbbing I like to stroke

Ah-ah-ah…

His leaves caress and excite me
Oozing sap delights me
I rub against his huge round trunk
He is my big wooden hunk

I’m so in love with an adorable tree