You said: “It will never work”
I said: “I can try”
You said: “It’s a detox plan that will try and make you dry”
And when you came clean with me that I had to last that long
I said: “No chance of success – sober’s just plain wrong!”

Irish men are born to do one thing and I was born to drink
That’s drinkin’ till you’re so blind that you’re pissin’ in the sink
Take no notice of the warnings – they’re all a load of shite!
Even if you do abuse it, all it gives you’s second sight

I clutch my head, think my pillow’s lyin’ on the floor
And I smell like a distillery – guess I’m pissed right to the core
And I can’t recall a damn thing, but I won’t rue my plight
Getting’ bladdered till you lose it, well, it’s a basic human right!

Irish men are born to do one thing and I was born to drink
And after ten or more pints it’s an effort just to blink
But for all the drunken brawlin’, the clumsy, pointless fights
Higher consciousness just proves it’s one of life’s religious rites

I try, but nope, can barely stand – guess I’ll have to stay
One day soon s’pose I’ll drop dead, my bar tab still to pay
But if that’s my fate, then get ’em in – let’s have one for the road
In any case the lady wife’s certain to explode!

’Cause us men are born to do one thing – yes, we were born to drink
We might not make good husbands, but they sure kick up a stink
When they call you, cussin’, bawlin’, ’n you notice it’s first light
So you crawl home to the missus and pretend to be contrite

Irish men are born to do one thing and I was born to drink
And our birth rate keeps rising, though you’d think that it would shrink
So I think I’ll get one more in, see’f I can go all night
’Cause I never can refuse it (’Cause he never can refuse it)
Because I…
Yeah, I was born…
Born to drink
Born to drink
Born to drink

Born to drink