My husband was a bastard.
His affairs would drive me mad.
I spent many nights sobbing.
He really was a cad.
But then I met a witch and all my despair disappeared.
She taught me about voodoo and her spells that she learnt in Zaire!

I made a voodoo doll whilst sitting in my rocking chair.
Into the wax I burned with a lit cigarette.
It gave me immense joy to destroy his genitals.
And hear him shrieking when I poured some boiling fat
On his gonads.

My neighbour had a cat.
It killed my dear pet parakeet.
As I vacuumed all the feathers,
It shat on my bed sheet.
I had the urge to fling the thing into a wheelie-bin.
‘Til the fateful day that the nasty cat smashed my bottle of gin!

                                  Out came a voodoo doll from underneath my rocking chair.
Into the wax I bored with shards of broken glass.
It gave me immense joy to destroy that feline fiend.
And hear my neighbour scream when he found on his mat
A splatted cat.

Whenever I feel violated,
I have to get my revenge.
Forbearance is so overrated.
Better that they wind up dead!
(Better that they wind up dead)

I play with voodoo dolls whilst swinging in my rocking chair.
I have a poppet for my friends and all their pets.
It’s always such a joy to employ my sorcery.
And hear the stories of the pain caused by the hands
(By the hands)
Yes, hear the stories of the pain caused by the hands

Of Voodoo Gran!